Things I’ve Never Understood.

There are certain things, common amongst most humans, which I have not shared in and have a hard time understanding. These are things which, in a crowd, one person mentions and everyone else automatically agrees is the WORST EVER or BEST EVER or WHAT EVER, while I simple fidget in my chair because… I don’t agree/haven’t felt that way.

Berserk freak-out panicking over spiders. Of course, I don’t live in an area where spiders grow to be the size of my face, and none of them are man-eating and won’t look down on me from a tree as prey to be pounced upon. If I did, yeah, I’d probably freak out. Around here, the larger common house spiders are about span of a quarter, and barn-spiders can be three or four times that. I honestly still have never freaked out over a spider. In fact, when my younger sister would refuse to enter the barn every summer so I HAD TO DO HER CHORES, or when she would scream and try to climb me like a tree to get away from the spider in the corner of our bedroom, I had very little sympathy for her and would try to convince he she really needed to get over it.

Eating cantaloupe. On purpose.Β Β Ew. Just ew. I will eat it in a fruit salad to be polite, but given the choice, never.

Math. Well obviously, basic math I am fine with. As long as I can have paper for multiplication and division… because, you know that horrible moment when your computer just freezes for no apparent reason, it makes these awful roaring noises and you can’t get ANYTHING to function? That’s what happens to my brain on math. I’m pretty sure if I could process math I would be a brilliant person.

The Zombie Thing. Seriously, people? I’ll admit that I once read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies for a giggle, and I did giggle, but I also gagged and got goosebumps and that was the first and hopefully last of my zombie experiences. I don’t get the fascination with undead anything. Rotting corpses… walking around… lookin’ for brains to eat. Yeah. Let’s watch THAT movie. NOT.

Also, Sci-Fi. This one is huge. SO many people love Star Wars dearly. And Star Trek. And now, Dr. Who. There’s a quote from a children’s book, I can’t remember which one, but a father says to his children, and I misquote, “There’s no such thing as aliens. And if there are, I don’t want to know about it.” Exactly. Aliens completely creep me out, and I’ve been known to gag and look away while watching Sci-Fi as a child. This past summer I watched Men in Black for the first time in my life, and it was kinda torture. Parts were hilarious, but I was really glad when it was over. Sci-Fi is just the stuff of nightmares, and I don’t enjoy putting myself intentionally through a nightmare. Other nightmare themes are creepy monkeys (think flying moneys from Wizard of Oz and Planet of the Apes. *shivers* And crazy viscous bears, like on Brave… I seriously could not watch the battle with that huge murderous beast.

And finally, hairless cats. Ew, ew, ew, and whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????????


13 thoughts on “Things I’ve Never Understood.

  1. Try cantaloupe frozen! You might like it better. πŸ™‚

    I’m with ya on hairless cats. That’s just creepy. And I hated Men In Black for the most part. NASTY. I nearly threw up more than once, and just thinking about some parts is making me nauseous. I do love Star Wars though. I tried Dr. Who. It just isn’t my cup of tea. I don’t like alien stuff either, I got completely grossed out as a kid just reading the story lines of movies like Independence Day. *shudder*

  2. Oh, and MY thing I don’t get is girls screaming because a mouse runs across the room. They aren’t THAT scary. A rattlesnake oh yes, but a mouse? Naw.

    • See, the title is appropriately capitalized. The poster is all in caps, but so is the catch-phrase. It’s simply a graphics design thing. If it’s DOCTOR WHO THEN EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE SHOULD BE IN CAPS TOO. JUST SAYIN’.
      And I swear, I TRIED to like Dr. Who. I tried again after we talked about it, picking it up where I’d left off before, and half way through the episode I couldn’t take the screaming horrible robot-alient-taking-over-the-world ANY MORE. Sorry about that. Not.

      • It’s really okay, you don’t have to like DOCTOR WHO!!!! I still like you and I still think your funny. I dont know how to do smiley faces on here or I would. I like sci-fy but I don’t like cantaloupe either! Dont worry, differences are what makes life interesting!! Glad you got a sense of humor! Have a great day.

      • That’s right, if everyone liked all of the same things, life would be boring. We’d just look at someone we just met and already know everything. And to make a smiley face, just type a colon and a right-side parenthesis… like this : ) only with no space in between. Like a sideways face, two eyes and a mouth. The computer will change it to a smile. πŸ™‚

  3. Ok. Enough of this gooshy stuff, you two! Enough smiles. No one should be smiling when our dear Valerie insists on abbreviating the Doctor’s name. His *name* is The Doctor, he isn’t a Dr. and when he introduces himself, everyone says, “The Doctor? Doctor Who?” Get it? It’s like a joke, but not a funny one because it’s a very serious show. Very serious.
    Ah well. You try, you know? You try to shed a little light on the world… 😦

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